Baby Reindeer Netflix #2

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Spidey2020 said:
If ‘Martha was a man’ (and RG was a women?) then it would have turned violent and the victim would likely be dead. We have no idea if what happened in BR is a reflection on the real life stalking. I said it before but repeating it now he didn’t feel that threatened by her, come on, he’s built his career off it. You can’t just say ‘oh if she was a man’ it’s way more complicated than that.
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I'm not sold on how Gadd deals with it, but saying that a victim doesnt feel threatened by his stalker/abuser because he found the strength to talk about and turned it into something good is exactly why many victims (especially males, because of the argument you have used) don't come forward.
 
I'm not sure how much of what we saw on BR was true and how much was embellished, but from her facebook posts, FH is clearly unhinged and not a nice person. Hopefully this will quieten down soon and people will get bored and move on. When people stop 'reacting' to her posts on fb she'll maybe calm down a bit and stop posting so much. I don't have sympathy for her, but I do hope that she has some actual friends/family in real life. I'd hate to see this go too far and something bad to happen.
 
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I really feel like she needs a welfare check. Horrible person or not she is absolutely spiralling, and I hope that she has some support from the authorities.

It’s so conflicting, because what she did was awful and mental illness absolutely does not excuse the vile bigoted and downright nasty stuff she comes out with, but I do worry how this will end for her.
 
welp said:
I'm not sold on how Gadd deals with it, but saying that a victim doesnt feel threatened by his stalker/abuser because he found the strength to talk about and turned it into something good is exactly why many victims (especially males, because of the argument you have used) don't come forward.
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Fair enough if that’s what you think. I can’t imagine finding somebody scary/threatening then basically basing my career around them especially knowing they are out there. I think it’s more finding the opportunity rather the strength.
 
Can you imagine if you were one of the professionals involved in FH’s care or treatment, you’re winding down of a weekend, pour a glass of wine and stick Netflix on….then oh tit this person seems familiar, no it can’t be….argh yes it is and now your job just got that bit harder!
Not much of an insight into the series from me, but that was one of the first things that occurred to me, all the people who know her watching it, realising and thinking oh hell!
 
Bowling for Slop said:
Can you imagine if you were one of the professionals involved in FH’s care or treatment, you’re winding down of a weekend, pour a glass of wine and stick Netflix on….then oh tit this person seems familiar, no it can’t be….argh yes it is and now your job just got that bit harder!
Not much of an insight into the series from me, but that was one of the first things that occurred to me, all the people who know her watching it, realising and thinking oh hell!
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Immediately booking a sabbatical 🤣🤣🤣
 
Not_A_Troll said:
I don’t doubt there is some form of MH issue but she also seems like an awful person. I will be very surprised if she actually ends up doing a tv interview, she’s too much of a loose cannon.
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Exactly this 👏👏!

There is always duality in life.

She can be a person with mental health issues who would be considered vulnerable but she can also be someone who is highly dangerous, morally corrupt, delusional and doesn't take any responsibility for their actions 🤷.


It could just be my opinion but there's a possibility that some people are feeling sorry for her because of how "Martha" was depicted in the show. That was intentional by RG as he too felt sorry for her. Fictional Martha and the reality of FH I'm sure are wildly different when you can't switch real life off.

It seemed to me (from the show) RG's character was looking for the "why is Martha like this?" so badly because he would never get the answers as to why he was raped by someone he admired and trusted in the industry. Just my take.

IamMyaJ said:
That’s was me hahahahahaha
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🎵 It's Britney Martha, witch 🎵
 
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judgejohndeed said:
I don’t think many, if any, are? There is a huge amount of victim blaming going on.

That’s not really a similar situation in the slightest but you being happy to change your number doesn’t mean everyone is. I’ve had my phone number since I was about 13, when my ex started stalking me I wasn’t going to be bullied into changing it by him. I don’t think that means I could’ve stopped him, he would’ve contacted me other ways anyway, as he was already doing. If anything it made me feel safer knowing it was ‘contained’ to the same routes that I could try to ignore, until it ramped up, at least. I did get the police involved however but it seems they didn’t help Gadd and I don’t really know why as sending thousands of emails alone is harassment
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A stalker will always get to you if they really want to; changing your number or email won't stop that unfortunately
I kept the same number, however, I blocked him and I just diverted all withheld numbers to my voicemail. I did use a different email address though and took a bit of a break from social media, deactivating it all.
However, he knew my friends and families' names and was able to harass them instead, and there was no way I was going to ask them to start changing their lives because of some absolute nut job who wouldn't leave me alone.
In the end, I got my social media back, kept the same number and kept the same email address - I wasn't going to let him win and I lived in hope he would eventually just go away. He didn't and still hasn't, still pops up from time to time.
I remember at the time one of my friends would just say 'change your number' and then you won't hear from him and I just thought, if it only it could be that easy!
 
Tinkerbell cat said:
A stalker will always get to you if they really want to; changing your number or email won't stop that unfortunately
I kept the same number, however, I blocked him and I just diverted all withheld numbers to my voicemail. I did use a different email address though and took a bit of a break from social media, deactivating it all.
However, he knew my friends and families' names and was able to harass them instead, and there was no way I was going to ask them to start changing their lives because of some absolute nut job who wouldn't leave me alone.
In the end, I got my social media back, kept the same number and kept the same email address - I wasn't going to let him win and I lived in hope he would eventually just go away. He didn't and still hasn't, still pops up from time to time.
I remember at the time one of my friends would just say 'change your number' and then you won't hear from him and I just thought, if it only it could be that easy!
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I'm so sorry you've had to life with this experience and the fact that it's ongoing 😞💔.

I had a very small amount of training due to working adjacent to Women's Aid and remember this acronym: F.O.U.R. = Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted and Repeated behaviours.

It's absolutely devastating that another person can decide to dedicate their life to obsessively harassing, manipulating, humiliating and intimidating another person. Completely devastating for their victim.

I hope you are okay 💖💖💖
 
soupmodel said:
I'm so sorry you've had to life with this experience and the fact that it's ongoing 😞💔.

I had a very small amount of training due to working adjacent to Women's Aid and remember this acronym: F.O.U.R. = Fixated, Obsessive, Unwanted and Repeated behaviours.

It's absolutely devastating that another person can decide to dedicate their life to obsessively harassing, manipulating, humiliating and intimidating another person. Completely devastating for their victim.

I hope you are okay 💖💖💖
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Thank you so much, I am ok now ❤

I was in a dark place for a very long time and every day it was just the same cycle over and over again.
I felt alone like people thought I was bringing it on myself or enjoying the attention because I was constantly on high alert waiting for his next act of communication. The contact from him was endless on every single platform and through so many people I knew too, contacting me saying he was adding them or messaging them.
I felt I could trust nobody, didn't know if he was manipulating people into telling him stuff about me or if he was just winging it and making it up such as where I was that day, what I was doing, etc.
Police couldn't really do anything because he hadn't physically harmed me and even when they did contact him to ask him to leave me alone, he sent a message straight away from a fake account with a load of laughing emojis. He didn't care.
I will still never get my head around him showing up to the bar in the airport because he had found out I was going on a hen party!

It really does change you, 6 yrs on and I'm still paranoid, always freaking out when I get a friend request, eyes scanning a room when I walk in on the off chance he might be there because he has somehow stalked a friend's insta story. It's a crazy way to live.

But I am so much stronger now and although he may never go away fully, he will never ever have that power over me again.

What you have said is so very true, it really is fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviours and they absolutely do not care one bit how it makes the person they are doing it to feel. They are selfish narcissists.

❤
 
Tinkerbell cat said:
Thank you so much, I am ok now ❤

I was in a dark place for a very long time and every day it was just the same cycle over and over again.
I felt alone like people thought I was bringing it on myself or enjoying the attention because I was constantly on high alert waiting for his next act of communication. The contact from him was endless on every single platform and through so many people I knew too, contacting me saying he was adding them or messaging them.
I felt I could trust nobody, didn't know if he was manipulating people into telling him stuff about me or if he was just winging it and making it up such as where I was that day, what I was doing, etc.
Police couldn't really do anything because he hadn't physically harmed me and even when they did contact him to ask him to leave me alone, he sent a message straight away from a fake account with a load of laughing emojis. He didn't care.
I will still never get my head around him showing up to the bar in the airport because he had found out I was going on a hen party!

It really does change you, 6 yrs on and I'm still paranoid, always freaking out when I get a friend request, eyes scanning a room when I walk in on the off chance he might be there because he has somehow stalked a friend's insta story. It's a crazy way to live.

But I am so much stronger now and although he may never go away fully, he will never ever have that power over me again.

What you have said is so very true, it really is fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviours and they absolutely do not care one bit how it makes the person they are doing it to feel. They are selfish narcissists.

❤
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What a horrific experience for you, and I'm so sorry you've been through it and that it is ongoing to an extent. It doesn't matter that these people are mentally ill, no-one has the right to make another person anxious, nervous and scared by their actions. I'm glad you're stronger now. Do any of his friends and family know what he's been doing?
 
Serene Serena said:
What a horrific experience for you, and I'm so sorry you've been through it and that it is ongoing to an extent. It doesn't matter that these people are mentally ill, no-one has the right to make another person anxious, nervous and scared by their actions. I'm glad you're stronger now. Do any of his friends and family know what he's been doing?
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When he started stalking me, they knew he was contacting me but I don't think his friends knew just how bad it was. I think they thought it was just a laugh and it would stop.
I know one of his friends would let him borrow his phone when they were together because I had him blocked on everything. It was texts and voicemails left on my phone one night that I used when I contacted the police the next day. The police got in touch with him and his friend.
I have no idea if they know he is still contacting me tbh. I would like to think they don't because I just can't imagine them letting someone continue to do that to a person 6 yrs on.

I see so many similarities between him and this Fiona person, even just the way they ramble on.. never in the wrong, the whole world against them and they are the victim. Its crazy
 
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