Baby Reindeer Netflix #2

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Sorry if this has already been posted ...published 30 January 2000

MP WIFE'S STALKER; Lawyer Laura tells of fired trainee's hate campaign. - Free Online Library

Free Online Library: MP WIFE'S STALKER; Lawyer Laura tells of fired trainee's hate campaign.(News) by "Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland)"; News, opinion and commentary General interest
www.thefreelibrary.com

This bit got me...
"Nobody could believe it when she even tried to put herself forward as a candidate for the Scottish Parliament and Westminster"
 
wellwellwellitsanotherad said:
Sorry if this has already been posted ...published 30 January 2000

MP WIFE'S STALKER; Lawyer Laura tells of fired trainee's hate campaign. - Free Online Library

Free Online Library: MP WIFE'S STALKER; Lawyer Laura tells of fired trainee's hate campaign.(News) by "Sunday Mail (Glasgow, Scotland)"; News, opinion and commentary General interest
www.thefreelibrary.com

This bit got me...
"Nobody could believe it when she even tried to put herself forward as a candidate for the Scottish Parliament and Westminster"
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Fits with the tiktokker who said she stalked her neighbour in jordanhill, this was dewars constituency. I have no sympathy for her she has had many victims and it would appear has had zero consequences or accountability. Hell mend her.
 
Plot twist, she’s Susan Boyle’s long lost twin.

IMG_5527.jpeg
 
inksmear said:
I really wonder what FH is doing, alongside all these Facebook posts. She reckons she is ‘making dinner for folk’ and was eating sandwiches with her lawyer boyfriend. I wonder if any of these people exist? The fact that literally none of them have cut access to the internet makes me think they don’t, and she’s alone. She desperately needs someone to step in and stop her.
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She might be inventing these people because she’s scared someone is going to turn up at her house so doesn’t want people to know she’s alone.
 
greycloud said:
Fits with the tiktokker who said she stalked her neighbour in jordanhill, this was dewars constituency. I have no sympathy for her she has had many victims and it would appear has had zero consequences or accountability. Hell mend her.
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Seems she has been doing this since about 1997 and non custodial treatment hasn't worked so she likely.needs some secure mh treatment and accommodation away from social media
 
Just as Gadd has the right to tell his story, she can respond and tell hers too! Hers will obvs be an incoherent rant of half truths, given that she has to be right all the time, hates anyone who calls her out and stalks and abuses people! Shes ranted on at media outlets, as they didn’t portray her in the way she wanted to be! Mark my words, she’s loving this and even seems to be touting herself out for work claiming she’s a very good singer in her last post!
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troutpout69 said:
Just as Gadd has the right to tell his story, she can respond and tell hers too! Hers will obvs be an incoherent rant of half truths, given that she has to be right all the time, hates anyone who calls her out and stalks and abuses people! Shes ranted on at media outlets, as they didn’t portray her in the way she wanted to be! Mark my words, she’s loving this and even seems to be touting herself out for work claiming she’s a very good singer in her last post!
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Oh and I’m sure those who are victim blaming RG and excusing her behaviour would not have this view if they were the one who had been stalked or verbally abused for years!
 
Still don’t see anyone victim Blaming RG

See a lot of people victim blaming FH

Strange that.
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‘All I ever wanted to do was capture something complicated about the human condition..That we all make mistakes.That no person is ever good or bad. That we are all lost souls looking for love in our own weird way.’
- Richard Gadd.
 
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BessieNessie said:
Still don’t see anyone victim Blaming RG

See a lot of people victim blaming FH

Strange that.
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‘All I ever wanted to do was capture something complicated about the human condition..That we all make mistakes.That no person is ever good or bad. That we are all lost souls looking for love in our own weird way.’
- Richard Gadd.
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She isnt the victim!
 
She has definitely invented the boyfriend, that or she has multiple personality disorder and she is referring to her different personas.
The boyfriend was invented to put people off tracking down where she lives, although it’s not hard to figure out from her open FB page with her pictures of random people going about their business.
Personally, I don’t care about either of them but I do think that she needs to be hospitalised because she is cray cray.
 
BessieNessie said:
He says she is. He says she’s a victim too. Or do we choose to ignore that? Is he wrong? Can there be only one victim in the story?


Blaming the victim is a phenomenon in which victims of crimes or tragedies are held accountable for what happened to them.
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No, victim blaming her would be saying she is responsible for whatever trauma happened to her, which no one knows about and he only alludes to. I have seen no one blame her for this. In the context of her decades long tornent of many ppl she is categorically NOT a victim
 
greycloud said:
No, victim blaming her would be saying she is responsible for whatever trauma happened to her, which no one knows about and he only alludes to. I have seen no one blame her for this. In the context of her decades long tornent of many ppl she is categorically NOT a victim
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So we are totally rejecting the fact that he insists she is. My presumption is he knows a lot more about their situation and what went on between them than we do and if he says she is also a victim in this story then I’m taking that at face value.
 
BessieNessie said:
He says she is. He says she’s a victim too. Or do we choose to ignore that? Is he wrong? Can there be only one victim in the story?


Blaming the victim is a phenomenon in which victims of crimes or tragedies are held accountable for what happened to them.
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She may very well have been a victim in her life, that contributed to who she is today and her behaviour, but she is not the victim in this story. She is the perpetrator of more than one incident of years long stalking and abuse against more than one person. In the Alice Evans threads we've questioned what made her an abusive narc. None of us have any answers for it, but does whatever made her the way she is today excuse or justify her abuse of Ioan and Bianca, of her children, of countless people online and irl? Does her past "victimhood" mitigate the heinousness of her behaviour today?
 
Peonyrose said:
She has definitely invented the boyfriend, that or she has multiple personality disorder and she is referring to her different personas.
The boyfriend was invented to put people off tracking down where she lives, although it’s not hard to figure out from her open FB page with her pictures of random people going about their business.
Personally, I don’t care about either of them but I do think that she needs to be hospitalised because she is cray cray.
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There’s not really any psychiatric intervention available for someone like her, unless she escalates her behaviour from online to real life. Suicidal people are lucky if they manage to get a crisis team referral. A woman posting nonsense on Facebook isn’t going to be a priority - unless she already has a CPN.
 
BessieNessie said:
So we are totally rejecting the fact that he insists she is. My presumption is he knows a lot more about their situation and what went on between them than we do and if he says she is also a victim in this story then I’m taking that at face value.
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Can you link me to where he says she is a victim in this story? I have done quick google search but only thing I can find is him saying "she was a victim" talking about her past trauma.
 
CookieMonsta said:
She may very well have been a victim in her life, that contributed to who she is today and her behaviour, but she is not the victim in this story. She is the perpetrator of more than one incident of years long stalking and abuse against more than one person. In the Alice Evans threads we've questioned what made her an abusive narc. None of us have any answers for it, but does whatever made her the way she is today excuse or justify her abuse of Ioan and Bianca, of her children, of countless people online and irl? Does her past "victimhood" mitigate the heinousness of her behaviour today?
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Put it this way, all through the show he acknowledges that they were a meeting of dysfunction. He even chooses Martha over Teri when put on the spot and all the characters including him say that he encouraged her behaviours. She had recorded hours of him chatting and flirting with her etc to the extent that she thought they were in a relationship and he even ‘broke up with her”. i feel he’s saying she was a victim of her MH, her compulsion to stalk and the circumstances that brought it out in her to that extent - the lack of help from society. The whole story covers the blurred lines between consent, victim and perpetrator and how the perceptions can be different.

(Talking of AE I feel she’s more like the Marcia character on Twitter, really awful, totally batty and obsessive and best kept at arms length.)
 
dovelist said:
If RG didn’t make a song and dance about how he was wanted to protect her identity and all that jazz he wouldn’t be getting so much backlash. Something awful happened to him and it’s his right to share it but he didn’t need to pretend to be this super empathetic guy who has her best interests at heart.
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I think you have effectively pointed out why I feel so unsettled by RG! I’m 36 and maybe like, 15 years ago there was this real discourse about ‘nice guys’ who were basically not-nice guys who pretended to be nice, until we wouldn’t sleep with them and then they would be like ‘why don’t you want to sleep with me? I’m such a *nice guy*. Fucks sake you owe me’ and have a misogynistic tantrum. I dunno if I’m old, jaded and massively projecting but all the way through Baby Reindeer my ‘nice guy’ radar was telling me ‘don’t trust him’ about RG. I think you nailed it - RG is saying ‘it’s ok that I’m making this show because I’m so *self-reflective* and so *empathetic* - look, I behaved badly too!’. But he’s only showing us the bad behaviour he wants us to see, that he’s comfortable to admit to. No one else in the show gets that luxury. It could be argued that they don’t deserve it but he is making some very serious criminal allegations about several people - even if they’d murdered him and it had gone to court they’d be entitled to a defence and to have their say. By doing it via a world wide streaming platform, it removes that option for them. Even those who haven’t actually done anything wrong (Teri, his dad) get the most personal parts of their life laid bare. Maybe they were ok with that, I don’t know. But the only one it benefits is RG’s quest for fame and money. I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel that empathetic to me and that is why I feel unsettled by him.
 
BessieNessie said:
So we are totally rejecting the fact that he insists she is. My presumption is he knows a lot more about their situation and what went on between them than we do and if he says she is also a victim in this story then I’m taking that at face value.
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I'm sorry Bessie, but this in itself is not so subtle victim blaming. You are insinuating that he did something to lead her on and thus in some sense its his fault that she went batshit crazy obsessed over him and stalked him. You mention in an earlier post that every character in the show, RG included admits he encouraged her. But you frame that in black and white without any nuance. Nobody teaches you how to deal with a stalker, especially one who is obviously broken and vulnerable, who you feel compassion for but are also scared of, especially when you don't want to trigger them into even more dangerous behaviour, so instead you placate them, not realising that will just encourage them in their delusions. He obviously felt sorry for her, still does, knows that she has been hurt in her past and doesn't want to see her hurt again, but he also wants to tell his story. This is a conflict victims often feel, especially when their abuser is family or someone they cared about or have compassion for. They feel responsible for their well-being, for protecting them, even as they want to speak out and get justice for themselves. Many abusers groom their victims to feel sorry for them and to blame themselves to keep them silent and protect themselves and it can be a real mindfuck for victims.

My interpretation of him saying she is also a victim in this story is that she is a victim of her own past, that something tragic happened to her that damaged her psychologically and emotionally and makes her a victim of her own damaged mental health, and thus she acts out in this way. But even if he did lead her on, he didn't deserve what she did to him, and she alone is responsible for her choices and her behaviour. She's faced legal repercussions for stalking before, she may not be able to control herself, but she knows what she was doing is wrong.
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inksmear said:
I think you have effectively pointed out why I feel so unsettled by RG! I’m 36 and maybe like, 15 years ago there was this real discourse about ‘nice guys’ who were basically not-nice guys who pretended to be nice, until we wouldn’t sleep with them and then they would be like ‘why don’t you want to sleep with me? I’m such a *nice guy*. Fucks sake you owe me’ and have a misogynistic tantrum. I dunno if I’m old, jaded and massively projecting but all the way through Baby Reindeer my ‘nice guy’ radar was telling me ‘don’t trust him’ about RG. I think you nailed it - RG is saying ‘it’s ok that I’m making this show because I’m so *self-reflective* and so *empathetic* - look, I behaved badly too!’. But he’s only showing us the bad behaviour he wants us to see, that he’s comfortable to admit to. No one else in the show gets that luxury. It could be argued that they don’t deserve it but he is making some very serious criminal allegations about several people - even if they’d murdered him and it had gone to court they’d be entitled to a defence and to have their say. By doing it via a world wide streaming platform, it removes that option for them. Even those who haven’t actually done anything wrong (Teri, his dad) get the most personal parts of their life laid bare. Maybe they were ok with that, I don’t know. But the only one it benefits is RG’s quest for fame and money. I don’t know, it just doesn’t feel that empathetic to me and that is why I feel unsettled by him.
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Sadly the nice guy phenomenon is very much in existence today.
 
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