iamsarahjjay

Thanks to @byefeliciax and @Foxvint for the extremely appropriate thread title suggestion! Yes sad news Sarah watchers. This will probably be our last thread as Sarah has big plans for her future which include coming off twitter. Well not quite as now in a slight change of plan she is setting up...

Title by a squig, nominated by @markcorriganscrisps Sarah is threatening to flounce of Twitter again due to all the threads here on Tattle that she has to go out of her way to read trolling. We have had a general election but she appears to still be unaware that the Tories have now indeed been...

Thanks to @SleevelessSlopSlinger for thread title suggestion - from Sarah's own words. Round up of last thread She's still doing mu reports for the police. She's been moving mattresses around in the night. She's on a diet which seems to involve curry sauce and chicken dippers. She does...

Thread title from a squig, nominated by @Squeaky Beans, congratulations, you win a jar of those weird frankfurter sausages, delivered to you in an Uber for £12. It's taken her about a fortnight to fill out some forms (unspecified), she's still got the worst sleep pattern of any grown adult I've...

Thread title a build on a typo by @BlendedSlop from BA (Hons) English graduate herself, SarahJay. Congratulations! You win a day trip by bus to Folkestone Last thread Sarah carried on tweeting and tweeting and tweeting into the void. She centred herself in the tragic death of a young woman as...

Thread title by @VeniVidiVicki nominated by @byefeliciax, congratulations you both win an ugly and expensive swimming costume that you wouldn't have needed to buy if you weren't a chaotically disorganised goblin. She's still making no attempt to fix her sleep patterns. She's nearly finished...

Thread title courtesy of Homer Simpson nominated by @Foxvint You win a meal kit close to its expiry date. The last thread was an exercise in general unpleasantness, procrastination and prevarication. She got prescribed some iron tablets and it took her about a week to pick them up. She still...

Thread title by @byefeliciax, nominated by @L3moning, congratulations, you both win a trolley full of beige food from the Aldi you're not banned from. Sarah is trying to set herself up as some sort of budget influencer, by begging people to reply to her threads with budget tips and recipes. She...

Thanks to @Sensible Susan and @L3moning for thread title suggestion. Hard to summarise the last thread: Sarah has locked and unlocked, deleted and undeleted her twitterx numerous times. She apparently has a butch Cockney boyfriend who will turn up on people's doorsteps. She is undergoing...

Thread title by @byefeliciax nominated by @ForgettyBetty, congratulations you both win a return taxi trip to your nearest ASDA. Our Sarah still spends more time locking and unlocking her account than that guy with the keys at the Tower of London. She takes taxis everywhere, she doesn't plan...

Thanks to @Livia Fantasy and @Squeaky Beans for thread title suggestion and nomination. Sarah had locked her account for a while but has unlocked it for a Christmas grift ❄ to reach out to her many twitter friends as her teenage children apparently need 'sweeties'. She's still desperate for...

Thread title by @StewPots , congratulations you win a shoe of hands. As you were.

And verily, the Phoenix Grifter arose, amongst the hilarity and the beautiful meeting of new and old Tattlers. It was as MI5 hoped: hilarious and effective. Hamas/Hummus/ Zionist/Zionost: all the same to yio and mu

Following on from discussion in the wolfnsunflowers thread about IamSarahJjay on twitter. Seems she’s had some trouble in aldi and might be after some donations (I’m not sure though, she’s barely mentioned it) I’ve actually only discovered her today but seems like there is already a lot to...